Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

There are a few people who I can think of who have caused me alot of pain, and altho I did at one time think that I hated them to me I do not really like the word hate... it takes way too much time and energy to hate a person.... and to me it really isn't worth it... so this is to the one person who has caused me the most pain...

Dear You,

I must have been pretty naive to think that you really truly loved me like you claimed to...  but reality is no one who really truly loves you as much as you claimed to love me is physically capable of putting the person they "love" through as much pain as you caused me.. or hurt.... for a while I THOUGHT deep down I really truely hated you for all the pain and hurt you put me through mentally and physically until i realized it truely wasn't even worth it to hate you ... hating you was starting to consume me and really wasn't even worth my time or effort because all it was doing was making me unhappy... when the whole point of me moving away to try to move on was to BE HAPPY ... I have tried ignoring, I have tried not talking.... I have tried to cut all ties.... changed my number 3 times.. and it seemed to finally work the 3rd time... but then started to befriend or try to befriend my friends on facebook trying to get information out of them about me... thinking it would "BUG" me... to a point I will admit it bugged me a little ... but I tried to ignore it..till I found out one of my so called "friends" talked about me behind my back TO YOU of all people... I wish sometimes deep down you'd just leave me to be HAPPY let me live my life and GET OUT of mine... instead of EXPECTING me to block you ... I shouldn't have to for you to get it ...beating on me was one thing... cheating on me another.... but I was that inlove with you I guess I was really that naive that I fell for your crap taking you back the 2ND TIME...... fool me once shame on you.... fool me twice shame on me.... never will I trust someone as much as I did you...  altho I am very thankful for the way thing's turned out (sooner rather then later) ... to me thing's like this are thing that make me LEARN from my MISTAKES... altho I truely did love you with all my heart I honestly think and yes I will admit it was a mistake...  everything you do makes you stronger.. and I believe that this made me a stronger person then I was before you came into my life....sometimes I just wish you'd go away... leave me to live my life and be happy.... and you be happy for me... altho you may think differently the pain I go through EVERYDAY isn't easy to get over or FORGET.... and as much as I wish I could .... I am only human with a heart despite what you may think that I don't have one .... part of me probably always will love you... but I really don't want to anymore....


Love Me,