Dear N,
I guess our friendship never really was ment to last?... altho as much as part of me wants to hate you... I can't nor do I like the word hate or ever wish it on anyone friend/enemy or stranger... I have had people hate me and it isn't a very good feeling.... can't really say tho that I am surprised how things ended up? or that when I let you know you never really cared bout our friendship that you never tried to prove otherwise?... you were there for me when I needed someone the most and for that I am truely greatful and always will be but part of me will always miss the friendship we did have before things when down the drain..... I also am not really sure how things even went down the drain to begin with ... We've drifted apart for a few reasons I guess. as much as I don't want to openly admit that I blame you, I will do it right now because I really do. You were a horrible friend....maybe not so much in the beginning but more so near the end.... you went from being a person I thought was a true friend... to just being flat out horrible..... You were fun to hang out with and I will admit I do miss those time's we did, campfires in your backyard, going out for coffee, hanging out shopping...., but I soon realized what kind of friend and person you really were...and really part of me wishes I never did, or that I never let you in and trusted you because in the end all you really turned out to be was a liar..... You lied to me constantly and talked about me behind my back (which was told to me by a few people) altho you did the same thing to them that you did me so why should it really surprise me?.... I guess it doesn't really... I just never wanted to admit that.... what I really don't get tho is to my face you called me your best friend.... best friends don't talk about you behind your back..... Well, I will tell you to your face that you're my friend, but behind your back I'm going to be calling you a bitch, I don't feel bad for saying it. Sorry...... well really you aren't a friend haven't been for 8 months... nor have you even tried to "stop" our friendship from ending so that in itself said everything right there... because if you really CARED about me, or our friendship ending it would be hard for you to let me do you would have stopped me.... but didn't... I honestly cannot recall the last time I really talked to you when things were still good... and as much as I wanna hold a grudge against you I really can't do it... It hurt yes, and probably always will.... but I always will be thankful that you were there for me when I needed someone, the day I called you crying and you panicked and came to my rescue... I still to this day believe that was really the only TRUE friend moment we ever had together... and I wouldn't trade it for the world.... they say that not every friendship is ment to last... but the one's that don't make you learn from your past.....I will definately learn to not be so naive thinking all friendships I have will last forever... altho I miss you more and more everyday I guess nothin really was going to stop our friendship from ending... it's the way it was written....
Love, Me
No comments:
Post a Comment